SHit
i noe its only like 10.30 in the morning n im blogging
but what the hell rite.
been feeling shitty all night..can't sleep at all.
will my life ever be happy. thats the qst i've been asking
myself every single day. i may put a strait face all day. but whatever happy things i do each time, even with my buddies or my mates. it all feels the same each time. somehow bloggin is a good way for me to juz express my thoughts to people..which is like only a few who read it..
u noe, even living my life to the edge is still a bore if u dun have sumone u can share it with. all i wanted was juz a companion whom i can just share my thoughts, my concern, my care, my devotion but it seems that its been taken away from me. except this time twice. why am i so foolishly falling for her. what is that she have that makes her different from all the other girls out there. she like any other girls, just that the way she show out herself to others,her care,sweetness,n times when she get angry, she's just so cute to me. n o! so beautiful when i see her smile. thats the diff she has among so many which i can just share my life with, but i just wanna share with her. is it too much too ask. all i need is a companion for now. i dun have to like really be in a relationship or whatsoever...it's just that i need you. its you who make my day bright. each time she calls, she make my heart lit. she brings my mood up even at times when i feel really down. but now with her confession to me for my own good fren. i cant beleive thats i've been used, n twice. good thing was she confessed, n im not angry for that. i just feel so left out in this world. what am missing myself for. god. i feel so damn bloody emo.
i count myself as a rocker. i should live my life just as it is. no matter how many times i bruised, slashed or fucking bleed myself. im gonna hve to stand up strait. be taller among all others(metaphorically).i will keep fighting on for my family, my frens and my loves till my last drop of blood. for those are the rules that i imply on myself. n will follow it.
wassupwasupwasup!!!
wadup guyz...
3 days since i update well
alot must have happened yeah...heehehex
well lets sumarise the story since friday the 2nd of jan.
stayed home most part of the day..
cos i did'nt had any plans..
mostly help my mum around the hse.....cleaning up n stuff.
seriously man....its so boring when ur not schooling anymore.....all my mate are starting school n
im like now the only one left without anything to do. so to all those who are still schoolin
enjoy while u can....the club that i wanna work at sembawang still havent called me yet...
eventhough its my dad's werkplace n my bro werk there before....i dun feel like i wanna become a waiter again. its like its been 4 years of experience as a waiterm, i should change my expertise or sumting. if i get the job, i mite feel half heartedly werking there. but well the money's good since it pays by TIPs, n its all in american money, woohoo..!!!
hahahax....well then later in the day, met up with the guys cos like seriously, its been long since i met the sembawang guys since after my party. so met up with them, lepak at the coffeeshop n chill. waited till my parents went home, n brought them up to my place. borrowed a movie called National lampoon's dorm daze. a show with titties. haahahax. cool movie, alot of jokes.
so we spent the night till late till all of them went home. until the next day. we plan to have a karaoke session down at my place again. good thing was zizi n zulio andolini had a mic to use so we can karaoke.
we sang alot of diff songs, but all malay. some song that i nvr heard before, it was a cool session arh yesterday. we sang aleeycats till night. then watch LD dvd copy HOT SHOT part duex.
stupid movie. had lots a laughs from it. the place was like in a mess. glasses, chip and food here n there. good thing they help clean the hse up abit. but the not cool thing was
i had to vacuum n mop the place till it reaches my parents expectations. i guess my buddies dun noe my parent way of cleanliness. as they went back i stayed up late with elyna on the phone.
its nice gettin back in contact with her. really miss her alot.
so we reach the part till today.
well woke up early to play a match against z-athelitica meridian.
i noe. long name for a team rite though it sounds nice.
we the opponent was a tough opponent...dirty players form the team..
i cant beleive that today my hands can reach all places while playing a game. hehehex
but we lost to them 6-5. played a full period with only 3 men on the line. we could take the opponent actually. i guess some of us were like stoned today.....stupid players didi their own line change n concede a goal. haishaishais....nvrmind we still got a few more games....
after the game styed there till like 6, watch all the other games...n chiilled out with new frens that i made today....
its easy when all of us are in the same age.....so easy to make frens with...hehehex
so now im home...writing all the details of my past n today....
body damn tired sak....but hey i still gotta kol elyna...
hope i can get her this time...hehehehex